He Fought The Roo, And The Roo Won!

This is a story I love to tell.

About 35 years ago, we took our three young children on a holiday to Bright in Victoria. We went with a group of friends and families, all staying in a holiday house.

On one of our day trips, we visited a national park. The name escapes me, but there had been incidents of tourists being attacked by kangaroos. I think a German tourist may have died. Because of this, there were big signs every 100 metres or so with large bold red text warning people not to feed the kangaroos. Big signs: “Do not feed the kangaroos.” “DO NOT FEED THE KANGAROOS.” “DO NOT FEED THE KANGAROOS!!!!” You couldn’t miss them.

When we arrived, there were loads of kangaroos around. Of course, my husband, being the rebel he is, grabbed a few slices of bread and wandered over to the kangaroos to feed them. But he couldn’t pick one of the smaller ones; he headed straight towards the biggest buck there.

So, there he is, feeding this big kangaroo and having a ball, until he ran out of bread…

My husband put his open palms out to the kangaroo to show there was no more bread and said, “Sorry, buddy. No more bread.”

The buck looked down at him, with a look in his eyes that said “You wanna bet mate?” The buck leaned forward, and grabbed his balls. He started to squeeze them, getting tighter and tighter.

Our group was watching what was going on and started laughing. In all fairness, we didn’t know the kangaroo had him by the balls, we just thought it had grabbed him by his clothes.

My husband naturally started to panic. He called out softly to one of our friends, “Ross, bring me some bread.” We couldn’t hear what he said, but the buck was squeezing tighter.

He called out again, a bit louder, “Ross, bring me some bread.” We still couldn’t hear him, and the buck was continuing to squeeze a bit tighter. So my husband yelled out, “Ross, bring me some f***ing bread! He’s got me by the balls!”

Ross got some more bread out of the car and ran over to my husband. As soon as the bread was in my husband’s hands, the buck released his grip and took the bread.

My husband couldn’t get away fast enough. He told us all to get in the car, and we high-tailed it out of there.

He truly thought he was going to lose his balls that day. I remind him of this story often, particularly when he meets new people, which he hates.